Took a while, but it finally hit us. The pull of name brands. When my older son was little, his pediatrician told us to indulge him w/ name brand shoes since they would minimize his slight outward turn of his feet. He mentioned that that was one area where we'd want to give in to pressure. My thoughts then, what pressure.. ? my kids wear what I buy.. maybe girls were more demanding.
Well, finally my older son asked for a northface jacket.. I normally buy their clothes at target or kohls. So, I thought I'd take a look at nf. The jacket he wanted was so ordinary.. lands end had a better deal for a better jacket. Excitedly, I showed him the "winter sale".. But no, he wanted nf, even tho' we couldnt really find his size. The biggest kids jacket would be a tad bit too small on the wrist. "You know, I need to be able to stand up to other kids with their nice clothes etc" "I can't be the worst dressed in the entire class" (all this when newspapers are full of articles about how teachers are funding some of the kids' weekend meals.. and I can personally attest to the tripling of prices of groceries in our area!)
Anyways, I buckled in after a couple months of negotiating.. I wanted to order from an online vendor.. But no, apparently these online vendors sold jackets that were fake.. the proof was that the logo was only on the front, not front and back!! the only place to go was to nf.com.. (more $$$) "now you know why this other site is offering it for a discounted price!"
I stood my ground, promising to return a single faced logo jacket. When it came, my son tried it on -once.. it was too short on the wrist as we predicted. And it had two logos!! "Aw.. I can't wear that!".. alright.. now I have to do an RMA to return the stupid jacket!
when little brother (smarty pants) pipes in "you should've known it was fake when it said "Northface" on both sides" Shouldn't it have said "Southface on one side and Northface on the other?"...
oh well there are some light moments to parenting after all.. how else can a parent come out of this experience still loving their children!
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Friday, January 23, 2009
Teenage
I'm having a hard time with my teen.. Duh! Anway, I happened to pick up a book called "Do hard things", a book written by 16 year old twins.. The 16 year olds had started a blog protesting against the societal culture encouraging teens to be under achievers, basically by condoning substandard attitude, by expecting less from teens, the society is doing the teens harm. My thoughts exactly.
I really believe the kids in middle school (grades 6-8 here) are capable of a lot more than we give them credit for. I think we need to start treating them as adults in some aspects. They demand more independence, give it to them along with the responsibility!
A background about the authors, Alex and Brett Harris, home schooled kids (Duh!), religious. Apparently their dad gave them a whole stack of books to read for summer and they got inspired. I tried to get my older son to read this one book, which he flatly refused. Of course, if I hadn't asked him to, he would have read it just because it was around. my kids are obviously not home schooled.. However, I've read excerpts to my younger son. yet to finish the book even though it is an easy read, just think it has been written by kids, for kids.
I really believe the kids in middle school (grades 6-8 here) are capable of a lot more than we give them credit for. I think we need to start treating them as adults in some aspects. They demand more independence, give it to them along with the responsibility!
A background about the authors, Alex and Brett Harris, home schooled kids (Duh!), religious. Apparently their dad gave them a whole stack of books to read for summer and they got inspired. I tried to get my older son to read this one book, which he flatly refused. Of course, if I hadn't asked him to, he would have read it just because it was around. my kids are obviously not home schooled.. However, I've read excerpts to my younger son. yet to finish the book even though it is an easy read, just think it has been written by kids, for kids.
Parents or tyrants?
Just got done with a book titled "A l'heure de la premiere etoile". It is about a character Lucien, and his relationship with his daughter and son. The son leaves home one day without taking leave and the daughter visits once in a while, out of a sense of duty.
Lucien finally figures out that he had done wrong by his children, in trying to make them live like he did.. take up his farm. He never listened to what his children liked or disliked, rather ruled like a tyrant, without having to raise his voice.
Good read in any case.. raised some issues in self! I look around me and feel that kids are rather homogeneous, girls go to dance class, music class, (piano is popular!) boys to karate; every asian kid sorta goes to kumon, some sports in the picture.. tennis maybe.. and of course dinners every weekend either at neighbors or at an indian/italian restaurant.
My older son finally broke down and told me he never really liked piano.. of course he wanted to learn at one point and begged to go since his friends were all learning.. but I am relieved that he realized he never really liked it and was able to tell me so. I think having just finished the above book, I was more receptive to what he had to say and didn't internalize his works as a failure on my part.
My parents never had to face these issues since the only class I was forced to go to was the dreadful typewriting class when I was in college. I still shudder how I never managed to get the forms right. I took up music on and off, ok more off than on (but then I was never driven there and watched over by my parents).
Lucien finally figures out that he had done wrong by his children, in trying to make them live like he did.. take up his farm. He never listened to what his children liked or disliked, rather ruled like a tyrant, without having to raise his voice.
Good read in any case.. raised some issues in self! I look around me and feel that kids are rather homogeneous, girls go to dance class, music class, (piano is popular!) boys to karate; every asian kid sorta goes to kumon, some sports in the picture.. tennis maybe.. and of course dinners every weekend either at neighbors or at an indian/italian restaurant.
My older son finally broke down and told me he never really liked piano.. of course he wanted to learn at one point and begged to go since his friends were all learning.. but I am relieved that he realized he never really liked it and was able to tell me so. I think having just finished the above book, I was more receptive to what he had to say and didn't internalize his works as a failure on my part.
My parents never had to face these issues since the only class I was forced to go to was the dreadful typewriting class when I was in college. I still shudder how I never managed to get the forms right. I took up music on and off, ok more off than on (but then I was never driven there and watched over by my parents).
Monday, January 19, 2009
Sunday, November 23, 2008
A small matter of trust
As a parent, do you trust your child? If yes, how much? Do you give them the room to explore and grow..?
obviously, we are not talking about extreme cases of endangerment.. specifically, teenagers like to explore and have a say in what they do. It is so hard to trust that your child will do the right thing. But I feel it is the right thing to let your child arrive at a decision, giving them the room to explore, make mistakes etc.
thoughts?
obviously, we are not talking about extreme cases of endangerment.. specifically, teenagers like to explore and have a say in what they do. It is so hard to trust that your child will do the right thing. But I feel it is the right thing to let your child arrive at a decision, giving them the room to explore, make mistakes etc.
thoughts?
Friday, October 10, 2008
Joys of motherhood
I've never somehow been happy with my hairstyle -the length, to bob or not to bob.. whatnot.
I go really traditional, and long to have really long hair. At some point it turns scraggly on me and I chop it all off -get away with this under the guise of donating my hair to cancer patients..
I was in one of those moods. Guess things weren't working out like I wanted or maybe I was bored or depressed and really wanted a Change (notice the capital C?)
I take it out on my hair - have the hair dresses chop it all off to a what used to be known as boycut.. even though the hairdresser thought it was too much hair off at one time..
So I get back home and walk in as if stuff is really normal.. my head is lighter after all!
My younger son, about 3 that that time looks at me strangely for a little while.
Finally he walks up to me and asks:
"Are you my mother?"
such innocence - lifted me straight out of my moody self! indeed one of the joys of motherhood.
I go really traditional, and long to have really long hair. At some point it turns scraggly on me and I chop it all off -get away with this under the guise of donating my hair to cancer patients..
I was in one of those moods. Guess things weren't working out like I wanted or maybe I was bored or depressed and really wanted a Change (notice the capital C?)
I take it out on my hair - have the hair dresses chop it all off to a what used to be known as boycut.. even though the hairdresser thought it was too much hair off at one time..
So I get back home and walk in as if stuff is really normal.. my head is lighter after all!
My younger son, about 3 that that time looks at me strangely for a little while.
Finally he walks up to me and asks:
"Are you my mother?"
such innocence - lifted me straight out of my moody self! indeed one of the joys of motherhood.
Friday, September 19, 2008
On Authoring
A friend recently suggested that I should read Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni. My brain OD'd on Bengali authors, discarded the suggestion.. Got home to start yet another bengla writer converstation.. But curiosity got the better of me and I did go out and read a book of CBD in one sitting..
But wait a min, this is a parenting blog.. so what's the deal?
Well.. my younger son happened to see the book (Sister of my heart) on the table and he said he knew what the book was all about. The book had a small pic of two indian women on the cover.
He went on fabricating a story -eerily close to the orignial globally speaking - but then asked permission to inject some unrealistic fiction into the story (Thanks to schools for the nomenclature) and the story took on a familiar tone of alchemists and monsters.
There may be some hope for Tamilian (Am-Tam) authors in English -in the near future:)
But wait a min, this is a parenting blog.. so what's the deal?
Well.. my younger son happened to see the book (Sister of my heart) on the table and he said he knew what the book was all about. The book had a small pic of two indian women on the cover.
He went on fabricating a story -eerily close to the orignial globally speaking - but then asked permission to inject some unrealistic fiction into the story (Thanks to schools for the nomenclature) and the story took on a familiar tone of alchemists and monsters.
There may be some hope for Tamilian (Am-Tam) authors in English -in the near future:)
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