When my then 3 year old accosted a policeman, who was smoking near the tot-lot saying: "Mr.Policeman, you are setting a bad example for us. Smoking is bad for health". The policeman hastily put down his cigarette to which, our citizen responded : "Now you are going to cause a fire!"...
First b'day party for my older one. His parents and grandparents are busy with guests. He is hungry.. He grabs some milk from his bag and starts drinking after carefully putting down the trinkets he has collected on a chair behind him. My uncle decides to play a trip on him and grabs his trinkets and hides them. After a few minutes, my son turns around and finds his trinkets gone. He goes up to my uncle (who's smirking now) and tells him "Put it back". My uncle still tells us this story..
My younger son (maybe 5 then?) at a family Thanksgiving gathering asks my cousin's (american) wife: "Are you my mom's colleague?".
I bring S (then 3) to work with me one day.. He follows me all over. Colleagues talk to him and he answers their questions politely. We meet an Indian colleague who predictably asks him his name.. S appears confused.. He loudly whispers to me "Amma, is he Indian?".. I just answer for him and hustle him on.. Later, I demad to know why he questioned me like that, to which he replied.. I didn't know whether to tell him my name the indian way or the american way. And he works with you, so he must be american, right.. I had to give me kid a hug then!
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Friday, December 28, 2007
Lost opportunities
This is winter break for schools. DC metro is filled with parents and grandparents bringing their wards to visit museums or other attractions. On my way home from work, I noticed three different parenting styles which made me chew my lip and slap myself some..
A family with a 9-10 year old boy.. The boy appeared well behaved, albeit on the heavy side. He was asking how much longer the ride was.. his parents were noncommittal.. you'll see, at the end of the line and so on..
A second family with three little girls come in.. noisy but well behaved.. the older two children started playing rock, paper, scissors with the mother.. but were not keeping track of their scores. (math lesson?)
The boy wanted his parents to play with him.. his mom said.. she didn't want to because he was too good and that she would lose! Really! Dad wanted the boy to be quiet..
Enter family#3 with a boy and a girl.. the girl is hyperactive and the boy is trying to imiate his younger sister. Family one looks at family #3 with raised eyebrows scornfully.. Family #3 kids have the same question.. when are we going to get there.. The mom pulls out a metro map and has the kids track the progress..
I remember car rides when I would answer we get there when we get there or something equally silly. Recently, I printed out a google direction sheet for the back seat and let the kids help navigate. I realized they need to know the scale of the trip.. progress..
Questions from kids, even if they are irritating, are opportunities for us parents to teach them or learn from them as in my case.. I resolved that I would take every question from my kids with some level of seriousness and take the opportunnity to communicate something of value.
A family with a 9-10 year old boy.. The boy appeared well behaved, albeit on the heavy side. He was asking how much longer the ride was.. his parents were noncommittal.. you'll see, at the end of the line and so on..
A second family with three little girls come in.. noisy but well behaved.. the older two children started playing rock, paper, scissors with the mother.. but were not keeping track of their scores. (math lesson?)
The boy wanted his parents to play with him.. his mom said.. she didn't want to because he was too good and that she would lose! Really! Dad wanted the boy to be quiet..
Enter family#3 with a boy and a girl.. the girl is hyperactive and the boy is trying to imiate his younger sister. Family one looks at family #3 with raised eyebrows scornfully.. Family #3 kids have the same question.. when are we going to get there.. The mom pulls out a metro map and has the kids track the progress..
I remember car rides when I would answer we get there when we get there or something equally silly. Recently, I printed out a google direction sheet for the back seat and let the kids help navigate. I realized they need to know the scale of the trip.. progress..
Questions from kids, even if they are irritating, are opportunities for us parents to teach them or learn from them as in my case.. I resolved that I would take every question from my kids with some level of seriousness and take the opportunnity to communicate something of value.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
12 year old child
Well.. we decided to take advantage of the xmas break to take the kids skiing. We were going to leave on 22nd and be back on 24th in time for christmas eve when santa can still finish wrapping and fill stockings in time for opening gifts on the 25th.
Just before we left, we found that the PA ski slops north-west of NYC were closed due to a noreaster creating high wind conditions. In order not to lose the hotel reservations, we ended up rebooking to a closer location for the 23rd night and 24th night. That way, we'd leave late 23rd afternoon, sleep in and start skiing early 24th morning at 8am. The slopes were open on Xmas day until 10pm. We were planning to leave by 8pm or so.. so we'd be back in time for work the next day.
Anyway, as I was loading the car on the 23rd.. A checked his stocking and told his brother that Santa would have filled it by the time we came back. I thought to myself, that it was nice of A to tell his brother that even thought S knew about Santa. We left..
On the way back on 25th nite, the kids were fast asleep in the back.. tired from all the action. I suggested that D drop me off and continue around the neighborhood for about 5 minutes, while I do my wrapping and stuffing. But as luck would have it, the kids both awoke as we got off the highway.. They recognized the road we were on as being close to home and stayed up the remainder of the way.. D suggested that he and kids pick up some dinner for us, which they vetoed, saying they wanted to open their presents..!
A and S ran up to their empty stocking and looked under the tree totally disappointed. A even said, "Santa was all fake", ran up to his bed crying!
I'm thinking to myself.. "What the..! Don't they know!".. Shankar followed his brother.. I stuffed their stockings quickly.. dumped the unwrapped gifts under the tree.. and called them down.. saying "look Santa left stuff in the garage".. they didn't budge still crying..
I was miserable too.. D said that they were tired and would be ok..
and so the next morning.. both were up early downstairs.. waiting for us to come down and tell them whose was whose.. I told A that I'd ordered his snowboard by mail in early december and that it got stuck in Canadian customs. S says, but I thought it comes from North pole..! A says.. I don't care.. I am happy I got something!
They are both my babies after all!
Just before we left, we found that the PA ski slops north-west of NYC were closed due to a noreaster creating high wind conditions. In order not to lose the hotel reservations, we ended up rebooking to a closer location for the 23rd night and 24th night. That way, we'd leave late 23rd afternoon, sleep in and start skiing early 24th morning at 8am. The slopes were open on Xmas day until 10pm. We were planning to leave by 8pm or so.. so we'd be back in time for work the next day.
Anyway, as I was loading the car on the 23rd.. A checked his stocking and told his brother that Santa would have filled it by the time we came back. I thought to myself, that it was nice of A to tell his brother that even thought S knew about Santa. We left..
On the way back on 25th nite, the kids were fast asleep in the back.. tired from all the action. I suggested that D drop me off and continue around the neighborhood for about 5 minutes, while I do my wrapping and stuffing. But as luck would have it, the kids both awoke as we got off the highway.. They recognized the road we were on as being close to home and stayed up the remainder of the way.. D suggested that he and kids pick up some dinner for us, which they vetoed, saying they wanted to open their presents..!
A and S ran up to their empty stocking and looked under the tree totally disappointed. A even said, "Santa was all fake", ran up to his bed crying!
I'm thinking to myself.. "What the..! Don't they know!".. Shankar followed his brother.. I stuffed their stockings quickly.. dumped the unwrapped gifts under the tree.. and called them down.. saying "look Santa left stuff in the garage".. they didn't budge still crying..
I was miserable too.. D said that they were tired and would be ok..
and so the next morning.. both were up early downstairs.. waiting for us to come down and tell them whose was whose.. I told A that I'd ordered his snowboard by mail in early december and that it got stuck in Canadian customs. S says, but I thought it comes from North pole..! A says.. I don't care.. I am happy I got something!
They are both my babies after all!
Motivation
If you've read the post titled "Guns", you know the quandry I am in. At one point, my 12 year old says.. "will you buy me an airsoft (or is it airshot?? I don't remember anymore, but I am going to call it airsoft since I find it a better word!) if I get straight As in all 4 quarters. Now there are some kids who can easily do that.. but it is a struggle for my 12 year old. So, if he pulls it off, it would be a big achievement. I demur...
Well, Christmas and my younger ones's scouting trip to the BB gun target shooting range changed all this. He started asking for the airsoft for Christmas. I felt pushed without the "hope that he would miss at least one A to resolve my problems" (I know.. what kind of mom wants her son to bring in a B rather than an A..? one pushed in a corner).
So.. I counter with "Well, what happened to straight As in all four quarters?" to which he replies..
"Amma, you are not the only one who wants me to get straight As! Don't you think I Want it as well? I am working hard in order to get straight As for myself, so that I can get into a good college with scholership and I can bank or invest all the money you would have spent on my education!"
Motivated kid or a convincing argument..?
Have to chew on this one to figure out how to dodge this air pellet!
Well, Christmas and my younger ones's scouting trip to the BB gun target shooting range changed all this. He started asking for the airsoft for Christmas. I felt pushed without the "hope that he would miss at least one A to resolve my problems" (I know.. what kind of mom wants her son to bring in a B rather than an A..? one pushed in a corner).
So.. I counter with "Well, what happened to straight As in all four quarters?" to which he replies..
"Amma, you are not the only one who wants me to get straight As! Don't you think I Want it as well? I am working hard in order to get straight As for myself, so that I can get into a good college with scholership and I can bank or invest all the money you would have spent on my education!"
Motivated kid or a convincing argument..?
Have to chew on this one to figure out how to dodge this air pellet!
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Guns
A has been asking for an Airshot rifle for a little while. He used one in India on the beach to shoot balloons a few years ago. We've managed to deflect it until now. It surfaced again.
Now that he is in middle school, he friends have BB guns and they let him try it out. He tried to make a deal with us. He said if he were to to straight As this quarter, would we be willing to buy him a remington airshot rifle. I reacted badly to the remington, but D said he would chew on it to buy some time.
But the very next day, we found out that S was going to go BB gun target practice with his cub scout, now that he is a webelo (almost boy scout).
A comes up to me and asks what I got him for Xmas -I said "nothing", not wanting to get into a discussion. He then asks if I would give him money for xmas, $68 of which he would use towards purchasing the rifle -which he would share with his brother and he would be responsible and not take it anywhere without our permission. Plus the remainder of the cash he would share equally with his brother etc.. He even roped S's neck with his arm, a little roughly..
Well, if you know A, this is totally out of character. Him sharing anything, let alone his rifle, with his brother. He doesn't share a libray book after he has read it with his brother!
I'm afraid this is opening a can of worms, like D says "this is gun country"
confusion clears.. My initial gut reaction is right and I am going to stand by it.
Now that he is in middle school, he friends have BB guns and they let him try it out. He tried to make a deal with us. He said if he were to to straight As this quarter, would we be willing to buy him a remington airshot rifle. I reacted badly to the remington, but D said he would chew on it to buy some time.
But the very next day, we found out that S was going to go BB gun target practice with his cub scout, now that he is a webelo (almost boy scout).
A comes up to me and asks what I got him for Xmas -I said "nothing", not wanting to get into a discussion. He then asks if I would give him money for xmas, $68 of which he would use towards purchasing the rifle -which he would share with his brother and he would be responsible and not take it anywhere without our permission. Plus the remainder of the cash he would share equally with his brother etc.. He even roped S's neck with his arm, a little roughly..
Well, if you know A, this is totally out of character. Him sharing anything, let alone his rifle, with his brother. He doesn't share a libray book after he has read it with his brother!
I'm afraid this is opening a can of worms, like D says "this is gun country"
confusion clears.. My initial gut reaction is right and I am going to stand by it.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Vedeo Game Playing
Video Game playing is becoming almost a joke in our house. The moment we get irritated with the kids, we take away their privileges, which means we take the controls and hide them. The rule is that they can only play an hour or two on the weekends, but if we don't say anything there is no stopping them. The last weekend in November, they played all day, virtually non-stop. So I them that they have played enough to cover December so they won't be able to play this month.
Needless to say, they were not too happy. My older son comes to me - knowing that we are anxious for him to get his grades up, and says, "Mom, now that we have lost the PS2, I really don't feel I have anything to motivate me to do my work." At this point, I wasn't sure whether to burst out laughing or to go into a lecture, so of course I did both. What ever happened to the motivation of actually receiving a good grade? I have to appreciate their creativity for trying to get it back - though some what misguided. They eventually relented and don't mention video games anymore. I imagine that will change in January.
As for motivation, video games is a lousy idea, at least in our house. Any time we have a "carrot" for completing their work, the kids usually end up rushing through their homework and are very reluctant to receive feedback for corrections.
Needless to say, they were not too happy. My older son comes to me - knowing that we are anxious for him to get his grades up, and says, "Mom, now that we have lost the PS2, I really don't feel I have anything to motivate me to do my work." At this point, I wasn't sure whether to burst out laughing or to go into a lecture, so of course I did both. What ever happened to the motivation of actually receiving a good grade? I have to appreciate their creativity for trying to get it back - though some what misguided. They eventually relented and don't mention video games anymore. I imagine that will change in January.
As for motivation, video games is a lousy idea, at least in our house. Any time we have a "carrot" for completing their work, the kids usually end up rushing through their homework and are very reluctant to receive feedback for corrections.
bathroom reader
Kids! why do I always feel guilty?
This one is about a book worm.. I know I was one of those growing up and a sleepy head to boot. My mom poured a kodum of water on my head one morning.. really! I guess I drove her to it!
my dear husband is another book worm. So, I guess the kids are genetically inclined. But, my genes seem to have changed. The younger one loves to sleep and read (laughing out aloud to himself). But he has so little time to complete homework, practice violin and do his kumon that the school mandated 20 minute reading a day to complete his writing exercise does not let him enjoy the book.
And he shuts himself in the bathroom and reads! This morning he was in bathroom for over an hour reading. Came out just in time to leave for school. He knew he didn't have time for breakfast and, so he says "I'm not hungry, let's leave"! And sure enough, his book is hidden in his laundry basket.. One is also found among the bag of spare toilet paper rolls!!
I can almost hear others say "That's a good thing! Let him read!" I know there are worse things to complain about and I feel guilty.. but I also bar him from checking out too many books from the library because "he will read every one of them"! Hmmpt!
This one is about a book worm.. I know I was one of those growing up and a sleepy head to boot. My mom poured a kodum of water on my head one morning.. really! I guess I drove her to it!
my dear husband is another book worm. So, I guess the kids are genetically inclined. But, my genes seem to have changed. The younger one loves to sleep and read (laughing out aloud to himself). But he has so little time to complete homework, practice violin and do his kumon that the school mandated 20 minute reading a day to complete his writing exercise does not let him enjoy the book.
And he shuts himself in the bathroom and reads! This morning he was in bathroom for over an hour reading. Came out just in time to leave for school. He knew he didn't have time for breakfast and, so he says "I'm not hungry, let's leave"! And sure enough, his book is hidden in his laundry basket.. One is also found among the bag of spare toilet paper rolls!!
I can almost hear others say "That's a good thing! Let him read!" I know there are worse things to complain about and I feel guilty.. but I also bar him from checking out too many books from the library because "he will read every one of them"! Hmmpt!
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