Children Learn What they Live

The parent Checklist made me think of this poem. I first read this poem posted on the fridge at one my friend's house several years ago. I really liked the words in it. It is often difficult to remember to follow, but the words make a lot of sense.

Children Learn What They Live

If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.

If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.

If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.

If children live with ridicule, they learn to be shy.

If children live with jealousy, they learn what envy is.

If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.

If children live with tolerance, they learn to be patient.

If children live with encouragement, they learn to be confident.

If children live with praise, they learn to appreciate.

If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.

If children live with acceptance, they learn to find love in the world.

If children live with recognition, they learn to have a goal.

If children live with sharing, they learn to be generous.

If children live with honesty and fairness, they learn what truth and justice are.

If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those around them.

If children live with friendliness, they learn that the world is a nice place in which to live.

If children live with serenity, they learn to have peace of mind.

With what are your children living?

-Dorothy L. Nolte

Visit to a museum

DC is famous for the museums - a veritable treasure trove. I see folks from all over the world on the metro really excited to visit the museums in DC, all gratis thanks to the Smithsonian.
I've dragged the kids to a few over the years - a feeling of guilt to live so close and not take advantage of the opportunity drove me to cajole, threaten and bribe them into submission. Granted, the first thing we do is to visit the cafeteria, followed by a room and a half of reading and admiring, then we head outside, frisbee in hand!! Figure something is better than nothing.
The past year, my older one has found his voice.. as in "Forget it!" (My bleating of "we never talked like this to our elders" fell on deaf ears).
So, this year, the spring tourists came in with children (happy faces from what I could tell) in tow.. I came home and called a meeting with the kids and told them how much people spend on hotels and airfare to be able to visit some musuems.. Now I had the older one's attention. He wanted to maximize his return.. but can he put up with boredom just to take advantage of a vacation savings?! I could see his resolve wavering a little..
We made a bargain, we'd only visit two wings and then they'd get their ice cream and frisbee, plus lunch at the cafeteria!
In the musuem, I gave the older one the camera. He went through and photographed every item in the two wings and agreed to do another museum to boot. Of course, he got his food. He didn't even complain when we got home later than planned and he missed half his baseball practice!
I guess he just needed to see the museum through the camera's viewfinder!

Parenting checklist

I recently read someplace about a parenting checklist/rules for effective parenting.. I will try to recall a few that got impinged on my brain.

1. Make peace with your child's personality and accept the child for who (s)he is.
(big one for me)
2.Make it a point to listen to your child. (practice what you preach and they will reciprocate).
3.Make one-on-one time with your child - give it 100% attention, do not take that phone call or check your email one last time before you begin. I know I will never get to my appointment with my child once I pick up my laptop.
4.Never let your child hear your talk negatively of him/her to another (even to your spouse).
5.Don't compare your child with a friend/brother/sister

Feel free to add your own..

Kite festival

It is an annual ritual with us. Mother and children pack up kites and a picnic lunch and head off to the Mall to attend the kite festival. Early spring the Smithsonian sponsers the annual kite festival on the capital Mall (a gorgeous piece of grassy area between the museums, stretching from the tidal basin to the capitol).
It is usually cold, but sunny and windy, ideal kite weather.
Thousands of people are gathered with kites of all kinds and shapes, from simple kites from the drugstore (ours) to splendid 3-D ones.
They also have kite shows and competitions in various categories. Cherry blossom festivities are also on during this time.
My kids absolutely love it and look forward to this day. Kites get tangled every now and then.. the kids put their heads together with the other party and sort it out. By the end of the day, the kites are torn, string knotted up here and there. We get hot pretzels and ice cream from the street vendor and wearily head back home negotiating the metro crowd, a few more happy faces -seldom seen during weekdays.
This year, I got two kites for the kids each and D picked up some extra string a few days early. But of course, one had to be opened right then and flown in the backyard and S lost one to the wind, string holder and all.. A held on tight apparently. The morning of the festival D got one more for S since he didn't have a spare.. The idea was to replace the torn one with a new one.
But that didn't happen. The kids flew their kites till they were in tatters with two new unopened ones in the bag. We walked around, flying some more near the monument. walked over to the tidal basin to admire the cherry blossoms. Lunched and Snacked. Headed home near sunset.
Kids promised each other that resume kite flying once they got home.

As we were walking to the metro, a mother/son came up to me and asked if she could buy a kite somewhere on the mall. I told her I didn't think so and that we'd brought ours from home.The older one had wandered away so I figured I'd check with S to see if he'd be willing to give up his tattered, but still good, kite - so that he could use the new one at home.
To my surprise, he didn't want to -saying I could give away the new one if I wanted to, but that the tattered one was his BEST kite.
go figure! Mommy's protective instincts were all wrong.
As usual, we now have notebook paper kites in every room -in preparation for next year?? or rather prolonging this year!!