Getting kids to do work in the house

Getting my older one to do work in the house has always been an issue - especially if it is on his own. But I was really surprised how much he is willing to do work, if he feels he is doing work that is part of the "family goal" of what needed to be done. I was making chapati one day and I just casually asked him to help me roll the rest of the chapatis, while I cooked them. He did, without negotiation for benefits. After dinner, I even got him to help me sweep the floor, as long as I finished off with a dust pan. I was so tickled by the amount of help he was doing, not to mention the positive attitude with it, I gave him the title of "helper of the day."

My younger one who is usually the more helpful one, showed a bit of jealousy...

My usual tendency is to delve out the tasks...but sometimes they just want to spend time with you even if it is to do work. However, if you are competing with a show on TV, it becomes more difficult. :)

chores

I am not a chore master.. god knows I've tried to be. My kids just ignore me or point fingers at each other.

why is he not doing anything huh.. pretending to do homework, that's what he is doing..
what about him, he is enjoying life on the sofa..
but.. he is doing so little, while I..

And the trash, forget it, neither will take out the (stinky -to them) thing!..

In the end rather than argue.. I give in. Once in a while, while I am doing dishes, I pick on whoever is within my eyesight to empty the clean dishes.

But, I realized that I am one of those needy persons. If i am cooking and the kids are around, they are asked to bring this from the refrigerator in the garage (unsavory task since it is too cold somedays) or get this/that for me etc. so much so, that the kids stay well away from me.. out of sight and hearing (easier nowadays with a itunes gizmo hanging from their ears)

hanh.. what did you say? you want what?

But I wonder if I should somehow persist - is doling out and ensuring that it gets done a parental responsibility? Am I somehow making my kids lazy by not assigning chores?

I have some friends who seem so much in control.. their kids have set chores like emptying dish washer, setting out trash and making their beds everyday, to vacuuming their rooms, cleaning out their rooms etc.

My kids share a bedroom - so I can't seem to say.. clean out your side of the bedroom -thereby creating a divide..
D makes their bed every morning and I pickup kids books andother debris strewn around when I get a chance, thinking they should be doing this..

Whenever D does chores, the kids seem to love hanging out and helping him. The older one gets paid in the summer to do the lawn - and ours is difficult to mow since it has swales.. He loves to shovel snow and can stay out with daddy doing that.. (doesn't last long when I shovel).

I wonder - is it a male bonding thing? hmm..

on the flip side, my older son will sit me down and make the family an entire meal of chappati flour in the shape of a cup or samosa, stuffed with veggies.. or one of his other concoctions. The younger one will bring me a foot rest, put my feet up, bring me a book to read and generally wait on me..

When I really need a room cleaned or something moved, they are ready to chip in and help.. like the marathon 3 hour cleaning that happened right before a cub scout meeeting I hosted, that I moved to the basement at the last minute since the kids were going to be painting.. both kids moved the earth to get us ready!

the older one has a stash of bulbs and will change out any he sees out without asking or being asked.. figured that out when we found a lot were popping. turns out he wasn't paying attention to the max. voltage, until D explained it to him.

still there is that nagging feeling - do regular chores really matter? Bah. it is too much of a chore to enfore compliance!!