Total Meltdown

Last night was a tough one.. Everyone stayed up too late Sunday nite watching superbowl.. I got home just in time to run my older one to the pool -from where I had to run him over to piano.. The little one was home, reading. D was cooking dinner.. Got home at 8:40 to have the older one call a classmate for homework assignment followed by a search for online textbook..
So, it was 9:30 when I turned my attention to the younger one, who had a tough homework - he had to conduct an interview of a parent and he was waiting for me.
The interview part went ok, joking all around.. especially the part when I told him I would sleep until 2:30pm and take midday naps before I had kids. He took "notes", a newly acquired skill, saying it had to be brief.
But, by the time it came time to putting the stuff down on paper, he was tired and found that his "notes" were a little too brief maybe.. but he bravely attempted. He had written a few words, before he had a total meltdown... saying how much he hated school work, where he had to work so hard, write so much and so on..
It threw me off totally.. I was tired also.. I should have supported him, hugged him.. but instead I told him off.. saying he was sitting on his work until this late and all of a sudden he starts crying.. while I had to go here, there..
After about a minute, I realized the child was just frustrated at the task at hand. So.. I sent him up to shower and bed, telling him I would wake him up 30 minutes early in the morning, when he could finish up.
He meekly complied. He was up and early in the morning (I guess appreciative of the fact that I didn't escalate the event) and finished up his work in under 10 minutes.
whoever said postponing makes matters worse..!

Vedeo Game Playing

Video Game playing is becoming almost a joke in our house. The moment we get irritated with the kids, we take away their privileges, which means we take the controls and hide them. The rule is that they can only play an hour or two on the weekends, but if we don't say anything there is no stopping them. The last weekend in November, they played all day, virtually non-stop. So I them that they have played enough to cover December so they won't be able to play this month.

Needless to say, they were not too happy. My older son comes to me - knowing that we are anxious for him to get his grades up, and says, "Mom, now that we have lost the PS2, I really don't feel I have anything to motivate me to do my work." At this point, I wasn't sure whether to burst out laughing or to go into a lecture, so of course I did both. What ever happened to the motivation of actually receiving a good grade? I have to appreciate their creativity for trying to get it back - though some what misguided. They eventually relented and don't mention video games anymore. I imagine that will change in January.

As for motivation, video games is a lousy idea, at least in our house. Any time we have a "carrot" for completing their work, the kids usually end up rushing through their homework and are very reluctant to receive feedback for corrections.

Kumon woes

We should start a Kumon Parent support group for over achieving parents like us! It is a daily battle at our house esp. with the younger one. The older one is better at it nowadays. At one point, he used to shed tears at the very mention of the word. Now, we have made a deal. He only does his work at Kumon and I stop bothering him during the week. I have to sit with S, appeal to his good senses, cajole him and finally threaten him with consequences, when amid tears he will take out his Kumon folder.
I also have to constantly check on him to ensure he is not drawing eyes and ears to his numbers or sitting with his back facing the Kumon.
I've tried several methods such as "a constant/dedicated time", a quiet place, isolation, standing looking over his work.. nothing works. My resolve weakens before his does.

I've been coming home pretty late all last week. I return home late last Thursday evening and enquire about the younger one's homework and the conversation goes along the lines of:
Me: "S, how's your homework comin' along?"
S: "All done!"
S does not get much homework.. so I think that it must've been a day he had a substitute or they had a test..
Me: "Start on your Kumon. You have to do two days worth"
S: "Done -both days"
I'm pleasantly surprised.. thinking to myself.. Finally, S is getting responsible..
Me: "That's great S! I'm glad you did your Kumon!"
S: "Appa Made Me!"

There was a lot of feeling in the last remark... Hopefully all this effort is worth something in the long run!