Friday, March 28, 2008

Crow eating a stolen crispy vada

On my way back home last nite, there was a woman with two little boys - ages probably around 5 and 2. There were few people in the bus since it was late. The older boy asked me if I had a basketball in my backpack, to which I said:
"No, I have books"

He: I don't believe you, can I see..

Me: Sure.. I opened my backpack and gave him the "Trials of Life: Natuaral History of Animal Behavior" with lots of pictures of animals.

The kids were pleased and thumbed through the book, involving his mother and occasionally asking me some questions as to what those animals were..

We came upon a picture of a wolf eating a deer in its mouth. The kid asked his ma

Mammy, why is he eating the deer?

Mommy looked up, slightly surprised to see my face, while saying: "because that is his food.. Mmm.. deliciouso!"

The kid, reconciled, said: "because he is hungry mommy"

I realized the mother had seen my face reflect a level of disgust at this picture. And then I realized I used to cherish the memory of a mental picture of a crow eating a vada so much.

Mmm.. crispy vada fried by the old woman and sold on the roadside.. (although, it was something we were never allowed to enjoy!)

Promised myself that I would make some (no, a lot) crispy vadas soon for my kids (without the guilt) real soon!

Monday, March 24, 2008

Chef du jour

The older one loves to cook. After all, his favorites are all male! Bobby Flay, Emeril Lagasse, Mario Batali, his daddy...

He started making small stuff as early as 7 or 8. Salads, frozen treats, peanut butter or nutella cookies. A few years ago, he started helping out with rotis on the tawa and recently puris in oil. He also loves to sit us all down and make a full meal from scratch.

I used to let him since I figured the kitchen needed to be cleaned anyway ;)

Nowadays, his cooking gets fancier -from cookbooks or his own concoction. His secret ingredients being potato, some spice mixture from the boxes I have in the fridge and his American twist - cheese and ketchup!

He has made atta flour and made cups out of them -filled with cooked potato, beans, carrot sabji - baked and topped with some cheese and ketchup. Plated one for each person - with a ring of ketchup, mint chutney etc.

Mostly edible ;)

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Getting kids to do work in the house

Getting my older one to do work in the house has always been an issue - especially if it is on his own. But I was really surprised how much he is willing to do work, if he feels he is doing work that is part of the "family goal" of what needed to be done. I was making chapati one day and I just casually asked him to help me roll the rest of the chapatis, while I cooked them. He did, without negotiation for benefits. After dinner, I even got him to help me sweep the floor, as long as I finished off with a dust pan. I was so tickled by the amount of help he was doing, not to mention the positive attitude with it, I gave him the title of "helper of the day."

My younger one who is usually the more helpful one, showed a bit of jealousy...

My usual tendency is to delve out the tasks...but sometimes they just want to spend time with you even if it is to do work. However, if you are competing with a show on TV, it becomes more difficult. :)

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Friendship

It's been a learning experience for me to watch my kids grow in a foriegn country. Making friends has its challenges anyway, but it is more difficult (I think) when two kids are from different cultures. But, since we moved to where we currently are, my kids have been more at home since there is a big Indian population in our community.

So much so, that I've had one father comment to me that he is worried his son only has Indian friends and so he encouraged his son to mingle more and bring his other American and Chinese friends home for play dates.

I've never chosen my kids' friends, or so I thought -until I realized that I'd unconsciously been socializing with other Indian parents from my sons' schools over the years -sorta forcing a friendship there.

As it turned out, my older son has had other kids' around who he obligingly played with, even if they were of different temperament and had vastly different interests.

Now that he is older, he is putting his foot down and verbalizing who he wants over and who he will be polite to during a visit. That puts a damper on my entertaining and I struggle with having to make choices between which of my friends I can see etc. One option would be to have just the adults socialize in a configuration that is feasible I suppose.

But, my younger one is more gregarious and loves to have all kids over except when he is trying to pretend to be like his brother.

Meanwhile, my older son says he likes it best when he is out playing with his friends in an outdoor sport like basketball, tennis etc - a barb at my confiscation of PS2. D agrees that boys have to play a sport or PS2 to socialize unlike girls who can just get together talk, giggle, paint nails.. So, the pressure is on to bring out PS2!

But to limit playing the video game, we have to cut down the socializing anyways -since playing one day at ours and another day at yet anothers' and so on is too much.

Luckily, that works for my schedule currently. But come summer, it's going to take some creative thinking on my part!!

Come to think of it, my parents never socialized or met my (nor my siblings') friends' parents!!! We turned out ok -right!?

Bullying

I meant to attend the parent seminar on bullying at my son's school, but missed it. I'm told bullying is pretty common in middle school years.
My kids have been bullied some. The older one acts tough and can get pretty aggressive when messed with, so he is not typically a target. And he can bully his younger brother once in a while, when I am not around.
Boys tend not to share the fact they are being targeted with their parents. Some signs that the kid is being bullied include:
  • not wanting to go to school
  • coming back home later, after other kids have left
  • walking when a school bus is available
  • not wanting to go to lunch period
  • unexpected wounds, which he is unwilling to explain etc.
My theory is that a bullied kid can be deeply scarred and can still feel victimized as an adult. My younger one is protected right now with a few skirmishes once in a while. Wonder how he'll fare in a few years when he starts the Middle school years!!

Sunday, March 9, 2008

Summer vegetable patch

About 4 years ago, I started a summer patch for growing our own vegetables. I figured it'd serve as a lesson in botany to my kids. So I grew tomato, capsicum, chilli peppers and eggplant. Got a hibiscus tree and grew okra.
The plants grew well and I tried in vain to interest my kids in Solanaceae and Malvaceae -to no avail. Soon the Japanese beetles arrived in hordes. My plants were soon overwhelmed. I told the kids the story of "Pari Vallal" - the one who gave up his golden (for more effect) chariot to a slender creeper (jasmine?? the plant name varied in my various renderings).
But the older one was ecstatic. He found a way to drown the beeltes in soap water since I refuse to use chemical pesticides. He found other bugs including some earthworms and others whose names/phyla/class/order eluded me. He informed himself of how the earthworm droppings look.
He started collecting matchboxes emptied and filled with insects. He even tried to freeze one in our freezer saying he was going to study cryogenics - until I threatened him with accidentally dropping them into his dinner plate.. He'd even tried to see if an earthworm could really regenerate itself when cut in two.
He'd just walked into an incorrect class!

teenager

The older one was 11 going on 13. The next year he was 12 going on 13. Easy to offend. Tears for no reason (at least one obvious to me!) and tempers.
New patterns to test my patience, but also a test for my confidence in being able to guide/mentor - since I botched it up so bad.
I've been angry in return, very angry, screaming, punishing by banning outings/tv/video games, retaught myself counting, forced myself to be patient, explaining the right and wrong, ..
Nothing helped!
Googled key words. Ended up scaring myself silly over "teenage kids running away from homes"..
Found some comfort in praying to a forgotten god.
These incidents would come out of the blue, last a couple of disruptive days. Solved by my cooking a favorite food which would be devoured after a day's semi-starving or consuming junk when I was not looking.
Then one day, a new insight came - not sure how or from where - Just ignore him - the voice said! And that's what I did from then on. An incident never got escalated. Temper tantrums became more infrequent and soon stopped -maybe because he was finally a teen - 13 going on 13.
Now every once in a while, we'd hear a banging door - I'd go about my business as usual. About a half an hour later -we'd be back to normal without the need for a bribe nor punishment nor harsh words being exchanged.

Saturday, March 1, 2008

Pulianga -Raw Tamaind pod

I found pulianga in the local korean store - in small bunches with the leaves attached. So I bought some home - mainly to show the kids the pleasure of eating the raw pod. Figued i'd make a pacchadi if I find a recipe for it.
The older one was more open to it.. so much so, that he asks Dad just as he walks in if he knew what it was. D tells him some tales associated with the tree - ghosts etc.
I remember the days at school, we made up ghost stories to scare other kids, scaring ourselves in the process, since at some point we started to believe in our creations.
We all had a laugh over "don't play in the veyl. play in the pulyamarthu neyl"
Anyway, they found the taste to be unique, but unpalatable to their palate. A can eat raw puli (the fruit of the green pod as I explained to the kids) once in a while. They can also devour raw mango with salt and chilli pepper.
all's not lost after all..
I munched on a piece and didn't really like it - tasted familiar but differeent. Guess that is the difference transportation and shelving at the store can make.
Segue to our summer patch.. :)