Recently read an an article in the local paper about over scheduled kids (guess it's that time of the year when colleges are picked and course load is determined).
I've always been bothered by this aspect, sitting on the fence. Morally, it bothers me that the only sports my children play are team/league oriented sports. Yeah, and occasionally some playtime in the community pool or shoot a few hoops. But this is definitely not the norm in our house. A game of frisbee tends to get boring if it is caught or if it gets thrown with abandon.
Our kids are in one team sport per season and one individual sport/activity. Plus music lesson, one instrument each.. some TV time, homework time.. lots of reading (biweekly treks to the public library).
This has also resulted in my kids not getting involved in a clique (sp?) - used to be not too unhappy with the situation since they can stay out of trouble.. some kids apparently get into due to not involving themselves in afterschool activities (heresay).
And since these kids don't go out everyday, they are unable to just go out and play when they can with the clique kids.?
Whenever they approach some of their friends from school on the evenings they are free, their friends are busy with their activities -with literally no overlapping free time.
I've always been bothered by this aspect, sitting on the fence. Morally, it bothers me that the only sports my children play are team/league oriented sports. Yeah, and occasionally some playtime in the community pool or shoot a few hoops. But this is definitely not the norm in our house. A game of frisbee tends to get boring if it is caught or if it gets thrown with abandon.
Our kids are in one team sport per season and one individual sport/activity. Plus music lesson, one instrument each.. some TV time, homework time.. lots of reading (biweekly treks to the public library).
This has also resulted in my kids not getting involved in a clique (sp?) - used to be not too unhappy with the situation since they can stay out of trouble.. some kids apparently get into due to not involving themselves in afterschool activities (heresay).
And since these kids don't go out everyday, they are unable to just go out and play when they can with the clique kids.?
Whenever they approach some of their friends from school on the evenings they are free, their friends are busy with their activities -with literally no overlapping free time.
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4 comments:
As a parent, many of us struggle with the over scheduling of the children's day. You want to expose them to a variety of activities so that they can find their "nitch" as well as learn things that will hopefully keep them level - such as music and sports. But as they get older, I think we have to start making them choose what extra curricular activities they want to pursue, otherwise it becomes a case of - "Well, you made me do it. I didn't ask to do it." And their commitment to the activity dwindles while our costs increase. Even our ability to support them in the activity, be it volunteering to help or even understanding the activity, is harder if there are too many activities.
During the school year, I don't mind if the kids play outside for an hour or so. The fresh air usually does them good and makes them a little calmer in the house. But my rule is they can play outside, they just can't go inside their friend's house. In most cases when they go inside a friend's house, it is to play video games. :) Kind of defeats the purpose of a break - given the brain stimulation and concentration involved in video games... but I digress onto my biggest pet peave.
As for the neighborhood cliques, those just become social lessons for the kids to learn. Many times these lessons are coupled with the disappointment when a neighborhood child is busy. But encouraging them to be persistent and not get disillusioned is important. If the neighbor is busy today, try again tomorrow. We have a neighborhood boy, whose persistence is so impressive to my husband and I. He calls almost everyday. But my 10 year old, usually wants to other stuff done first so he ends up telling him that he can't play. We always think that this boy will be excellent in marketing. Doesn't get bothered, but tries again the next day.
Kid's cliques and best friends change so quickly. Never know what factor cause them to formulate friendships.
Sujatha,
your comment:
"as they get older, I think we have to start making them choose what extra curricular activities they want to pursue" makes sense.. but at the same time the children need to have a certain level of committment to anything they take up.
Case in point, my older one started learning piano in second grade (after school practicing on a keyboard at home). Eventually we had to invest in a piano. Before we bought, I warned him that he would have to pursue piano for a long time to justify the purchase. Now with about 5 years of lessons (w/ some break in between) under his belt, my feeling is he should continue. I suspect his reason for wanting to quit are:
1. it is getting harder now and he really needs to put in some hours in practice (time he could be playing PS2).
2. He is not making good use of his time and is practicing incorrectly for his level and is getting into trouble w/ his music teacher..
3. He believes classical music is not cool.. while base guitar or drums are cooler..
No guarantee he would not change his tune about drums/guitar when the going gets tough... Plus I don't want to invest in more instruments.. dusting them all while he is off to college in a few years.
In my opinion, he needs to work to get over the hump with what he started. I can say the same thing with baseball.. after purchasing bats for slugging, for bunting -cather mitts, base mitts, weights etc etc, to say he wants to drop out "because, because" is making me want to dig more before I let them drop out.. and you know if one does, the other one is going to have the competitive spirit to demand the same just "because"!
I totally agree.. I think it is harder for boys to express what it is exactly that they don't like about something. They are just willing to quit and make it go away than deal with the issue that bothers them.
Plus giving them an easy way out, adds to their lack of value for money or investment in an interest.
As a matter of fact, I was just talking to a friend at the local meeting place (Kumon). She said her older daughter learned piano for 3 years from the same teacher as my son, but recently gave it up. She thought it was ok.. esp since the younger one has started learning in her place.
I keep questioning my son's musical abilities esp. when he seems unable to carry a tune.. but he is good technically. Figure something is definitely better than nothing.. and maybe one day he will enjoy playing a piece, whatever the quality or at least appreciate others' playing..
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